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Saturday, January 16, 2016


I've done it again. Gone missing for months with no news or whatever. I've gone under again for some few days in between my last few updates. I tried to drive those negatives thoughts away, I did. But nothing really can be done if I insist on staying home attending to my cats and chickens and vegetables. I had almost to none of conversation with strangers then, now though...

I've wanted to do so much back at my birth town. There is so much, so much of things that people either forget or don't know about what is it that makes the island so special for it's people. But what I have in enthusiasm, I've happen to be lacking of spirits instead. It was a depressing thing, that. I've thought of meeting new people to get me going with the project, but somehow that terrifies me greatly.

During the depression cycle, a friend of mine contact me and offer a job, pretty faraway from my hometown. It wasn't the first time that she offered, although I declined her previous offers and since I'm in the middle of breaking the cycle, it didn't take long for me to accept it. It is something new after all, working, that is.

So before the new year starts, I pack my bag and left my home again. I said goodbye to my cats and fishes and chickens and greens. I'd hope that this job offer will take my mind off of my negative style of thinking, and take a bit of it out of me somehow.  

Here I am, almost a month working for the small and expanding company, wishing for the best for myself and for those around and far away from me. I've meet new friends and strangers. All different in someway, but I'd live through somehow. 

I'd like to think that I'm getting better, but I can't say that I'm perfectly alright ever since I move out from my home. I'd shutdown for a few moment for some day, some was longer than a moment. But I wasn't living in a trance-like anymore, so that is somewhat an improvement of my quality of life.

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